Channeling and Self Therapy
Channel July 29, 2004
Moon waxing Capricorn. (My Venus is in Capricorn)
I was looking at a picture of Buddha that I have on my altar. It is large and easy to see his features. His eyes are closed in meditation. However his eyes are painted in such a way, that after looking into them for few moments I could see him looking back at me. I felt this was a symbol that I had entered a different state of mind. The vibrational level to which we must rise in order to communicate with higher knowledge. The more spiritual I have become, the more I am open to this spiritual sight. I was then shown a reflective vision of myself. I wore a head wreath and bracelets of mini sunflowers. I felt their were six pedals on the flowers. This is the number of Venus. Venus has been my teacher lately, and this is her astrological year. Also Venus is closer to the earth now than in two hundred years. My Venus is in Capricorn. I also think of the number 12. This means hanged man, sacrifice. Giving it over to God, acts of faith. Sacrificing temporal knowledge and desires for higher vibratory interaction and information.
Insight: Some of the haunting feelings in my childhood were denied parts of myself. Instead of channeling my hurt feelings into an attack on others, I fashioned them into self-abuse. Dark feelings I had about and for others became shame which disassociated and became ghostly feelings of negative entities. These entities would play mind games with me, daring me to do something wrong, to act out in some way. A push against my better nature. The entities were tempting to me, yet I feared their power. I feared losing my “light” to the dark, and becoming like they were. They were almost fairy like in their lure, however sinister. I fought to keep my light despite all of the abuse and confusion of my young years. I knew right from wrong, and tended to judge others based on their moral compass. How were they fairing against the demons in their heads? From a very young age I held this ideology, no matter what other religious dogma I was also subscribing too. I thought being moral was a fight between the darker and lighter parts of our nature. The old angel and devil scenario. Later I was to discover the light in the dark, and the dark in the light. The third dimension of black & white which is the Tao.
The feeling and imagination of spirit people watching me, monitoring me, testing me, was always present. Very rarely did I feel truly alone. I would go through period of feeling these beings were against me, deliberately antagonizing me, scaring me and making me quite fear filled. Then at other times it was like a friendship, I was feeling happy and decided to be nice to them. I would acknowledge their presence by announcing out loud “I know your there”. I remember playing Barbies with one of them. I would never acknowledge more than one of them at a time due to a fear of being overwhelmed.
I have come to believe we all have karmic ties with our fellow humans, and the universe we live in. We have agreed to be markers for other souls through out our life. We all play roles in other peoples “Life Movie”. Parents and siblings are obvious karmic ties, which lead to many lessons. However I believe that our spiritual selves can imprint a phrase on the subconscious mind, and when that phase is uttered another part of our life script moves into action. It’s very interesting when you think of it on a global scale. How slogans like “Where’s the beef” affect our consciousness at a collective level. Large events such as America’s September eleventh has mass affect on us as a collective and as a subconscious group soul. I relate to this theory on a personal level. I believe when I was a baby in the hospital a nurse said to me: “If anyone can save you, God can save you.” It is a memory that lay dormant for most of my life. Yet it seems the very theme of my life at it’s most simplistic. I have always been on a search for light and love, two things that remind me most of God. I believe it was my spiritual guide Hermes that spoke through this nurse. I feel those words activated a part of my “life script”. They are like subliminal messages of the soul. Death, Births, Pop culture trends, Planetary events, Movies, may indeed be a mass of triggers for our “life script”.
Madonna sings: “Traveling down our own road, watching the signs as we go, think I’ll follow my heart. It’s a very good place to start. These signs are not the obvious ones of promotions, or first kisses. The signs come at you in times of internal and external change, they are messages. That song you cannot seem to get off of your mind is one form a sign may take. It is the internal observer of our life who alerts us to these signs. We know in our mind if something happens that is repetitive or synchronistic. The logical mind sees a puzzle in this mystery and wants to solve it. The subconscious or intuitive mind should then be applied to the symbolism to divine what the sign is trying to impart. Sometimes the sign is blatantly obvious and require little intuitive investigation.
For Example: One summer I had a small ant infestation in the kitchen. I read that ants were great workers who always did their chores. Up to that point I was a horrid housekeeper. I took the lesson of the ants and became more industrious and cleanly around my nest. As I was taking care of chores I noticed of course there were less ants. I am now cured of my slovenly ways, and I have the ants to thank for it. Sometimes signs are purely intuitively emotional based. There is no actual symbol, more just a feeling. These feelings can be explored through meditation and prayer.
Viewing life from the perspective of an intuitive is to view life from a subconscious window. Intuitives are visionary. The symbols of the universe paint story like portraits in the mind. One man may see a crowd cheering for a political candidate. An intuitive man feels the warm power emanating from the crowd, their hopes as high as the sky. The intuitive then sees a vision, an illustration of the scene from a spiritual point of view. Trumpets blare as angels send out pink sparkle and golden rays of love through the crowd. One would argue most emotional artists are Intuitives.